I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
