and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i think my cat just said my name.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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