How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
