I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
