I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
