so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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