just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
