So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
