You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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