Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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