There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
