Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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