I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
