Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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