She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
