put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
