i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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