Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
