Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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