i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
