I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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