would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
