dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
