if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
