Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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