I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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