watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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