i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
