I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
