We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
