I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
