This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
