Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
