Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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