Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
