my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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