some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
