i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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