Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
