Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
