did you get engaged???
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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