You just made me feel so damn special
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
