Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
