Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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