we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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