i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
