Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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