I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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