yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
