Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
